Those three little words
by Missy Holland
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER UP AND RUNNING:'I don't say those three little words that can either make or break a relationship, I'm afraid it will make the relationship'
1. I'm going to call you Catherine

_Author's note : here I am again, this is my 5th story on FF, and I hope that everyone will like it as much as Pissed People, or even more, I want more as 20 reviews on this one!_

_Well this is an Sara/ Catherine shipper wisch means a story with Lesbians involved, I don't have the smallest problem with gay people, but if you do I think you shouldn't read this. I would like to thank some people thought, for giving me inspiration for writing this Fic. They are: My sista Jammalot, thanx sis! My FF new and old FF friends, Sophie, Rachel, Cara and Greg, we just met, but that doesn't change a thing to me…_

**Disclaimer **_ if they were mine, don't you think that the show would be so much better for the characters love lives_

**Spoilers: **_I think somewhere in season 4, when Sara had her haircut, I mixed some things up though_

_HERE WE GO ( AGAIN ) !_

Those three little words

I never say the words that make a relationship so beautiful, I hate it to say those words. They make me feel like an love drunk idiot, and I don't like to be that.I once was so stupid to say those words to the man I loved, and he ran from me. Not that he wouldn't have it I hadn't said them, he was just, well to much Grissom. When I came to Vegas he called me that day to ask if i had arrived. So i said no, to see how he was when I wasn't around. I came in early and watched him for a long time. I also saw the other team members and one person instantly caught my eye. A blonde woman walked into the breakroom and damn she was hot. I saw her and at that moment she saw me too. I saw her tapping Grissom on his shoulder and when he saw me, god his face was priceless.

That was 4 years ago, and now I'm a full part of the family, Nick,Greg and Warrick treat me like a sister and Grissom, he's just watching out for us all. Me and Catherine had a rough start but now we get along, if she just noticed me… But she didn't, everytime I tried to make a move she just acted like I hadn't done that and we just stayed friends. Like everyone wanted us to be, in the beginning every team member hated it to be on one case with the both of us, so at a tome we never had any cases together and at that point we became friends. I guess we weren't as territorial as when we were on the same case, and to this day we laught about those silly times.

2006-04-09

I wake up at the sound of my home phone ringing like it doesn't have anything better to do. I let myself roll out of bed and I land on the carpet I bought for these moments. I crawl to the place I remember as the one were I saw my phone the last time. I find it and pick up with a very sleepy voice. I have now idea who would want to call my home number, or even better, who knows my home number?

' What?' damn that came out agressive, but I don't care, I need more sleep

'Nice to hear your voice too'

' why do you have to call so fucking early?'

'Because it is not early and i'm taking you out for a shopping session'

'Thanks a lot, you just ruined my day ,Catherine'

'Your welcome Sar. I'll be there in an hour, so get your ass in the shower and wear something

confortable please'

'Damn you woman, I was planning on at least 5 hours of sleep before getting up' At that point I realize that she already hung up. I growl in to the phone one last time and get up from my couch. I have the weird tendency to walk into thing when I'm tired so had the most of my door removed when I moved in. With my eyes closed I run into the only door in my house, the bathroom door. I yelp when I hit my head and give a nice bang with my fist on it. I shower way longer than neccesary but I don't care at the moment. I had to get up early, ME ! I already have insomnia so I will have my revenge………. And I know just how to get it….

Catherine's POV

Am I shining right now? I feel like I am… I'm very proud I called Sara for a shopping trip today. OMG ! I got to change and eat, and I only have one hour ! I hop in the shower and I'm out of it after only 5 minutes. I'm standing in front of my closet in my naked butt and have absolutly no idea what to wear. I have several cool outfits but they are more for going out or dancing, but not for a day shopping. The best idea ever pops in my head as I see my well worn black jeans and a ney party shirt. They go perfect together and they seem to be casual and sexy at the same time. The top is a blue halter with a shimmering butterfly on the chest. I think Sara will like this, she seems to be into butterflies since I don't know when. When I look at the time there isn't any left for eating, it's a good 15 minutes drive to Sara and I still have to do make up and pick a purse. After 20 minutes I'm ready to go, and only 5 minutes late. I just know traffic's gonna be bad so that will be 20 by the time I arrive.

When I get to Sara's front door I suddenly get some butterflies in my stomach and I'm very nervous, I don't know what about but I still am nervous. I knock on the door and I hear Sara's voice yelling she's gonna be there in a minute. When she opens the door I get the shock of my life. She's plain and simple to hot to be legal. She wears those jeans I always descibed as : how-the-hell-does-you-ass-fit-in-that jeans. They look gorgeous on her tough. They go with a black halter top with the line : "I know you like me" on the front. And she wears her hair the way I like it the best. She had a haircut recently and it has so much more volume now, I like it the best when she has it a bit curled, and she has that today.

'You look nice'

' I know'

The moment she says that we both burst out in laughter, and with that she closes her door and we walk down to the parking lot. I decided that we take my car, since she can't drive without getting a speeding ticket and it's more practical for me. When I tell her we laugh again, and then we finally head for the malls.

The ride is full of joking and a hint of flirting. We gossip about Tina, our favorite person to gossip about. We know it's not fair for Warrick, but he can't wait either till the divorce comes thru. We talk about other stuff as well, and what we wanna buy at the mall. She says she doesn't need anything but I know better.  
We start at the dress shop, I have a date and I really need a dress. I decide to tease Sara a little and have some fun……

Sara's POV

Oh My God, does she know how she's killing me right now? She decided that she needed a dress, and now I am in the dressing room zipping her up in a little black dress. I have to slap myself mentally for checking her out ( well the backside) and i have a hard time to stop my hands from linger over her exposed hips and the upperside of her butt. She has to know what she's doing to me, there's no way she missed my intake of breath when she asked me to help and when I walked into the room she had to be deaf and blind, I had to close my eyes and mesmerize this moment when I saw her in that bra and the dress that was hanging on her hips.

I make it out of the room safe and immidiatly I close my eyes to rewind and do it all over again, but in my head there are several things you can't do in a dressing room without being kicked out. She pays for the dress and we walk to a tiny restaurant to discuss the events of the day. I order an sandwich and she has a steak.

' So.. shopping hater, where do you wanna go next ? '

'I don't know Cath, I don't need very much, but I do want to go to the pet store, I still want a kitten and they didn't have any the last time i came here. Where do you want to go ?'

'I only needed a dress so I have no further plans.'

With that we finish lunch and we head over to the pet store. As I walk in I can hear some soft miauws from a bench near the fishfeed( ? ) as I look inside the bench I see the cutiest kittens you can imagine, and they're crawling all over my hand when I start petting them. I take a better look and then I see the perfect kitten for me. It's a strawberry girl with a small white spot on her forehead. I carefully pick her up and she purres and falls asleep. I walk to the counter and softly ask if I can buy her. The boy behind it says I can and then a problem shows up.

'Cath, can you gab my wallet for me? I don't wanna wake Kitty over here'

'Sure, where is it?'

'Umsz…errm.. in my… uh.. backpocket'

I can almost see her blush and when she grabs the wallet I swear she stroked my ass !

I pay for the kitten and we head out, As planned Catherine drives so we don't die on our way to my place. We don't talk very much during the ride because I don't want my kitten to wake.

' How do you gonna name her?'

Well I do have a name, but I don't know if I should tell her already, but I hope she likes it and isn't offended by it. We now arrive at my place and I get out with Kitty in my arms. I start to close the door and just before it closes I say:

' I'm gonna name her Catherine………..

_TBC……….._

I want more as 16 reviews( the amount of reviews for Pissed People, one of my other fics)

But sue me for the rating, you'll see why in the next chapter. I don't care what you say in your review, even if you tell me what your cat's name is, as long as it's a review……..

Love ya, and you know it

Missy


	2. Of Breaking down and Taking care

So here's the next chapter, very very soon if I may add, but don't think the next will be as soon as this one, it's Easter so i have time, but i have to do very much homework the next weeks, so don't expect the 3th chapter soon, anyways, thanx to my sis Jammalot, you got to read her stories also, they rock xx, and thanx to Rachel, Cara, Sophie and Greg, for letting me talk about the most stupid things and still you're not blocking me! Love ya xxxxxx

Everyone knew that some cases got to someone, that each person at the Crime lab had a weak point. They knew Grissom couldn't handle death kids, Sara got emotional with abuse, Nick had issues with rape ( don't know if its true) and Warrick was always there for innocent people who were tricked by others. How ever, the never knew what really got to Catherine, she always seemed to be so self controlled. So they thought………………

Sara walked into the lockerrroom after a really hard shift. A man had shot one of his two kids to make sure his wife wouldn't file for divorce. The wife commited suïcide after they arrested the man, and their family had to explain it to the daughter who was at a sleep over at the time of the crime. When the CSI's came in to talk with the little girl their heart broke when they saw her cry about her lost family. Sara sighed and opened her locker to get her things and go home, to a nice hot bubble bath. But when she closed her locker she could hear soft sobs coming from the back of the room. She stood there for a while to listen and then she walked towards the sound, who ever was there, it always helped to talk, and Sara was a good listener, a better one than she thought she was, yet she didn't know that for now. She carefully walked around the corner and saw something in a dark corner what appeared to be a human. She got closer and when se could see who it was she stood there in shock, face going pale.

In the corner was Catherine Willows, the ever so strong woman of the CSI Graveyard Shift, crying her heart out. She had her knees pulled op to her chest and her head was buried in her arms on top of them. She always looked younger then she was, but right now she was just a little girl, with her muffled blonde hair and her sweaty head She was sobbing so hard that her fragile body was shaking and Sara could see red spots on her shoulders from slamming in the wall with every shake. Sara was so scared that moment, even more than she was when her mother killed her father. She was scared for the woman she always admired and respected. She didn't know what to do to comfort her so for the first time since she worked here she let her heart decide.

Sara sat down beside Catherine and pulled her into her arms.She was so warm, her head was glowing with cold sweat. Catherine struggled to get away but Sara was letting her heart in and didn't take no for an answer right now. She cupped Catherine's face in her hands and what she saw in her eyes made her terrified of leavin her alone right now. The blue eyes were, instead of their normal sky-blue, now they were dark, and filled with greef and anger. Sara saw what everyone thought was missing. Sadness …..

.'Oh Cath, what happened to you?'and closed her in her arms wich made Catherine only sob harder and she was clinging to her like a life line and was crying so hard she choked in her sobs. Sara whispered soothing words and rubbed her back gently with tears on her cheeks as well. After 20 minutes there was only the occasional sob and sniff and Sara's shirt was soked with salty tears that made a huge spot on her shoulder. Catherine was exhausted from the crying and she had fallen asleep on the cold floor of the locker room. Sara covered her with her sweater and coat and scooped her up in her arms, and headed out to the parking lot, she was taking Catherine to her home and she would take care of her and Lindsey until she was totally healed. On her way out she looked for Grissom, and she saw him at the front desk, talking to Sofia about their case. She walked towards him and when he saw her she saw the worry appear on his face, and on Sofia's, wich surprised her a little. He walked the last part to her and softly he stroked Catherine's face.

'She broke down, didn't she?'

'Yes she did, and I'm taking her home.'

' How awful it sounds, i'm glad she's finally letting it all out, you take good care of her, you both have 2 weeks off to start with, and we'll see from there.'

' Thanx Grissom, I owe you'

Sara walked away and Grissom and Sofia watched her go. Sofia walked up to him:

' You did very good Gil'

Grissom watched her go and shook his head

Sara had a small problem with getting Catherine in the car, but once she was buckeled in she sped of. Normally it took at least 20 minutes to get to Catherine's house, but with Sara behind the weel it was only 10. She looked into the mirror everytime she didn't had to watch the road. She pulled up the driveway just when Lindsay came home from school.

Sara got out of the car and called Linds.

The young girl saw Sara and ran towards her, Sara saw it coming and braced herself for it, and Lindsey jumped in her arms and squiled exitedly while hugging her as hard as she could.

'SARA !'

' Hey baby, why are you so early? I thought you had school in the afternoon'

'How did you get that idea ? We never have afternoon school at Friday'

But at that moment Lindsey saw her mother in the back of Sara's car and she instantly ran towards her. Sara cursed herself for letting Catherine in the steaming hot car and followed Lindsey. By the time she made it to the car Lindsey had already opened the doors and was pulling at her mothers arms to get her up, and when Catherine didn't respond she started crying and calling out to Catherine.

'MOMMY, MOMMY'

It broke Sara's heart and that moment she knew she would do anything to make Lindsey and Catherine happy.

'baby, you got to let your Mummy sleep, she's really tired and I was taking her home to take care of her'

Lindsey sniffed a little bit, but allowed Sara to carry her mother inside and to her bedroom. Lindsey came with her to get her mothers nightwear, and after that Sara told her it would be better for her if she did her homework, because that was pretty much the only thing the little girl could have done for her mother. Sara sighed and looked at the figure on the bed. Catherine's face was still red and her hair was wet from all the sweating, wich really made her look hot. Though she was utterly worried she had to concentrate on the task at hand: Undressing Cath, and getting her in her PJ's. The jacket and the shoes went well, and the shirt too, but then she had to take off the bra Catherine was wearing, and that was kind of risky. Sara however didn't want to send Catherine into the hospital with an even more serious breakdown, so she decided to let the bra on. She tucked Catherine in and gave her a featherlight kiss on the forhead, and went downstairs to check on Lindsey.

She saw the younger copy of Cath sitting at the table with her homework, though she seemed distracted, wich she couldn't be blamed for.

'hey girl, you wanna have diner in half an hour?'

'Sara, aren't you leaving, how's my mom, can i see he?'

'Wow relax, you little tornado, no i'm not leaving, you mommy is asleep, and if you're quiet you can go see her, i'll call you when diner is served'

Lindsey hugged Sara and ran to the stairs. Sara watched her go and smiled, how badly she wanted her own little boy or girl, but she was happy she could go visit Linds and the twins of her best friend Danni. She started to cook diner and was happy to see that Catherine had enough vegetables to make both soup and vegetarian things. When diner was ready she went upstairs to get Lindsey and wake Catherine so they both could eat something. She carefully opened the door to see Catherine awake and Lindsey, both on the bed. She stepped into the room.

'Hey guys, how's it going?'

'Mommy is up and she says she doesn't remember why she passed out' Lindsey said before her mother could say anything. Sara smiled, and announced that diner was ready. Lindsey stormed of as soon as the words left her mouth, downstairs was a loud cry of happiness when Lindsey discovered the fruits and pancakes Sara made. Catherine smiled to her and shifted in the bed. Sara walked towards her and streched out her hand so Catherine could get out more easy, Catherine took the hand and they walked downstairs to Lindsey, and the pancakes

All i want is a review, even to tell me about your own breakdown or when you were baking pancakes.. anything, I want at least 16 reviews for these 2 chapters, or else i won't update gets things thrown to her head and dives behind her screen press that f button and review ! dives onto the ground as she's been hit with spam over and out

Missy


	3. Pandora's Box, Open it or Lock it

A/N: I'm back, and sorry that I haven't updated in a while, I just had other stuff to do and a writher's block isn't helping either. This chapter contains more femme slash, don't read this if it offends you, I'd feel offended if you would review with the words that you hate those pairings, I warned you!

_HUGE THANKS TO : Cara, Greg, Rachel, Sophie. Xxxx, and to CSI-Mutant-X-Girl. Thanks for putting my small name with all those great others, in YOUR A/N, I'm honored._

_So, let me tell you a story about 2 wonderfull women, struggling with their relation with the other. Once upon a time……_

When they had finished diner, Catherine went to help Lindsey with her homework some more and Sara headed home to get some things. She needed to get clothes if she was staying here for a week or more, and she needed to get Catherine. The cat Catherine.

'Cath, is it okay if I bring Catherine with me, I don't wanna leave one of my Caths alone'

'Uhm I think it's okay to take her with you'

And with that Sara went out to get Cat, leaving Cath stunned after saying she was hers.

The next week passed and Catherine and Sara managed perfectly to hide their feelings, though they couldn't hide the tension. Everytime they would touch there was a small spark, and they both noticed it. Their reactions however, were different. Catherine was freaking out on the inside, she was involved with women before, but not with someone like Sara. The last mentioned one, was enjoying it to see Catherine so confused, and Sara decided to make it even worse by flirting with her when she could. The only place Catherine didn't need to hide her feeling were at the psych she had to visit after breaking down. When Dr. Julianna figured out that she had some feelings for Sara, she knew what she had to do. They decided together that they would continue their session on a base of 3 times a week.

After the Wednesday session Catherine came home, she was tired from all the talking and right now she just wanted a bath. She entered the stairs and got ridd of her clothes on the way to the bathroom. When she opened it she got the shock of her life. Sara stood in her bathroom. Naked. Without clothes. Just skin. Nude. Catherine didn't realize she was staring, until Sara turned. That was the moment Catherine and Sara found out that they had deep feelings for the other woman.Catherine realized it when she saw the emotions in the brown eyes, and Sara when she saw the, also, naked body of the blonde. She always knew that Cath had a great body, but she never knew it was that good.

They stared at each other for a while, taking in each others features.

Catherine couldn't take her eyes of Sara: her wet hair was sticking to her head and shoulders, there was still some water on her, creating small drops on her body. Sara shiverd a bit and Catherine saw that she was either cold or turned on. ( leaving it to you to figure out how she could see that )

Sara on her turn was in heaven. Catherine's body was more than she ever imagined, and not just her breasts and legs, she had the cutest bellybutton one had ever seen, and little beauty marks on her shoulders. Slowly Sara walked towards the other woman who seemed to be frozen on the spot.

Swaying her hips she approached her and stopped in front of her. Ever so calm she moved her lips towards the blonde's.

_OMG, does she know what she's doing to me? _ But Catherine's thoughts were gone as their lips met. Soft meeting soft, and slowly they both opened their mouths to explore each other. Tongues met and traced the curves of mouths and lips. They both were good kissers and they'd put every bit of love in this single kiss. They also knew how to get air, and their kiss lasted for several minutes, minutes of soft sounds and moist. Sara placed soft kisses on Catherine's lips and mouth, while she in her turn traced Sara's lips with her tongue, licking Sara's lips as if they were her own. It was the most sensual kiss they shared with someone ever, everything seemed shaped for the other, Sara was just a bit taller, so Catherine could place her head on Sara's shoulder during the kiss, and the brunette could bend her head a little. After what seemed hours Sara and Cath pulled back, and before Catherine knew, Sara had a towel wrapped around herself and was gone, leaving Cath very aroused and with a pounding….heart. Catherine was very confused, but she wasn't a woman to let Sara get away with it……..

………….days passed, and the tension was growing. Catherine was back at work, but Sara still lived with her and Lindsey. The young girl absolutly adored Sara, mostly because Lindsey and Cath( the Kitten ) seemed to be glued together, Sara thought it was okay, she couldn't give the kitten so much as Lindsey did, though Sara spoiled her, Lindsey was even worse. One day she was so busy with the cat that Catherine had had it, and started dancing in the house, wearing a bikini and a grass skirt, and Lindsey only noticed when her friend called her to warn her that she could see Catherine from her house across the street. This was the sign of a fight that was waiting since Eddie died, and it lasted for a full week. They didn't talk and poor Sara was in the middle of it, the both wanted Sara to pick a side, but not if it was the side of the other. Sara settled by saying that Catherine was a bit over reacting, but that she was right, Lindsey should spend more time with her mother, instead of the cat, thought they were named the same.

One day went well, that means without seducing winks and very subtle hints of what one should do with another, and others were filled with the earlier mentioned things.

That Saturday was a good one, Cath and Sara shared the master bedroom, but nothing happened, and that morning they woke up side by side, and not tangled up like other days.

They had pancakes for breakfast. They always had them on Saturday, a routine, since Sara 'moved in '.After breakfast Catherine went to change and Lindsey and Sara settled down for a movie, Lindsey was on a mission, and not one person could stop her from it. She wanted her mother and Sara together, and she knew just how to do it. She had picked a chick flick about two women that denied their love for each other, and when the movie would start she'd send a message to her friend who'd call her so she had an excuse to leave. It was perfect, she just didn't know that her mother and Sara already were together. In their hearts they were connected for the rest of their life. They just needed to get they key to open the lock. Once opened it was like the box of Pandora, just this was something good……………

So my dears, that was chapter 3, hope you liked it :D please leave a review, I actually read them, and if they are signed, I always reply back, even if you r just begging for someone to talk to, let me know and we could talk at MSN or something.

_XXx_

_Missy_


	4. It's all about Dance and Love

A/N I know it took me ages to update, but this story was just not moving. Inspiration isn't forcible, and that was my biggest problem. I've posted 10 other stories since this one, and I know that I should've updated sooner. And I swear I will if you like this.

DISCLAIMER: the song I used isn't mine, it belongs to either the Bacstreet Boys or Westlife, not sure which one, I was searching for a song that would fit the chapter, and I felt like this was a good song.

Don't sue me for the lame 'sex' part, I wanted to write this chapter 1st person, but I'm not very good at describing sex from that pov. Since you just read that there's 'love makin' in it, between two women, I suggest that you stop right here if this offends you, or if you are younger than 12 years old. That's it, enjoy!

Thanks MBInc, you've made this story so much better ( she's my beta ) :D

Part four.

She was watching me. I could feel it even though she was on the other side of the room, sprawled over the couch. It has been two weeks since Catherine was declared healthy, and since I moved out.

I still dream about that night Lindsey made us watch a sappy movie together

It was wonderful, even though nothing happened Why? I don't know, I guess we just chickened out. We cuddled, made out a bit, nothing more. The day after that Catherine got the green light, and I decided to leave. It was just my instinct.

I felt, even though there was something on the verge of happening, I couldn't stay any longer.

She needed some time alone, time she could spend with her daughter. Lindsey complained only once, saying that she just wanted some time with her mother, and I decided I couldn't stand in their way. Besides, I'd been there long enough. If I stayed any longer I might start to feel like I'm really part of this. But I still stop by every three days or so, just to check in on Catherine, and I think she likes it. We always talk about stuff we've been through that day at work.

Yes, work. Catherine's started work again and we both enjoy it, especially I. She was getting a bit cranky when she couldn't go to work, and she had the tendency to do MY paperwork, so she could do at least something.

At the moment I'm sitting at the table, reading some magazine, and Catherine was watching a soap she's crazy about, but now I can feel her eyes on me. Slowly, I turn around and catch her eye just before she can turn her head.

Our eyes meet, and there it is: that little spark that seems to be permanently there, whenever we look at each other.

Not that I complain. Her eyes shine with a light that stops me from looking away, it makes me feel all jelly and funny inside. Sometimes, when she's sad, I look at her. Just watching her eyes turn several shades of blue when she sees me, and when I smile at her, it's like she sees something so pure and beautiful. And that's when I know that I want to be the only one who makes her feel that way.

I think, for a part, it's selfish, because I feel like I could be almost as beautiful as she is when she looks at me with those emotion filled eyes. I wish I knew what those emotions are.

But I won't ask her. Sometimes she doesn't even know that I'm noticing her mood changes. But I do.

I see it when her eyes change from dark, sad oceans to light, blue seas. Her eyes can lit up and make her look like a summer's day, hot and full of wonderful sounds and endless

what-if's.

I seem to be lost in her eyes once again, and I don't notice when she stands up and closes in. She stands in front of me, our eyes still locked. Her whole face changes when she sends me a soft and beautiful smile, a smile that I cherish and call mine.

We have one of those moments that I'm sure I'll melt away and die on the spot. She takes my hand and pulls me with her.

Her hands encircle my waist, and I cup her head in my hands. We softly start to dance on the spot, and it's like angels are singing and making music. We spin and circle around the living room, to end up in front of the couch, embracing each other. This happened before, not the dancing, but sharing something.

We do that a lot these days. Like comfort food, we have each other.

I still haven't forgotten about the move I pulled in the bathroom that day, and neither has Catherine, but we haven't acted on it. But now that she's in my arms this way, I have to admit I'm kinda turned on by her.

I stroke her face, let my fingers find their way to her hair, and play with the golden locks. She just smiles and places a soft kiss on my mouth. Sensual, that's Catherine, what she is, how she likes herself, how she presents herself, and I totally love it. Her kisses are even more sensual than her looks. Soft and yet so demanding. I can only follow her lead, opening my mouth and gaining her access.

The soft kisses soon become hot, open mouthed kisses, and I can't hold back a moan. My hands leave her hair and travel south to roam around her back, all the way to her nice ass. I pull her even closer to me, leading my lips over her neck. I know I'll leave a mark, and I know she won't care. I smile when I see the red spot that I caused.

I pull back a little, to look in her eyes, and all I see is love, lust, but still some fear behind that. We both know that we're at the point of no return, and the question is if we can cross that bridge.I can see she's more than ready.

And so am I.

I kiss her forehead and lift her top. My hands tremble when they connect with her soft and delicate skin. She moans, it is the sexiest sound I've ever heard. I let my hands wonder beneath her shirt, tracing the curves of her breast. I've waited long enough, and suddenly I feel the need to just take her right on the spot.

Her kisses become more demanding, and I kiss her back, pouring all my love in it. I remove her shirt. She moans once again when I gently stroke one breast and swirl lazily circles on the other. My own shirt has been removed in the process as well, and she's carressing me with her long fingers.

I feel that she's turned on, and my hand goes south, reaching her jeans, easing them down her toned legs. She's almost naked, only her thong is left. That's gone soon as I pull them down in one movement.

I realize that we're still in the living room, standing in plain sight, and that I only wear my jeans, and that Catherine's totally naked.

I scoop her up in my arms and carry her to the bedroom, kissing every single part of her I can reach. We stumble into the bedroom and I fall on the bed.

Catherine takes control, and jerks my jeans off. I can feel her hands on my hips almost before I saw her move. She pulls my panties down and strokes ever so light the insides of my thighs. I can't hold back a moan and I start to feel like I could burst out in flames any minute.

God, she's torturing me, stroking me with those delicate long finger. I can't resist the urge to scream, a predatorily growl, when she starts to kiss her way to my center.

When she finally kisses and licks me just where I want her, I swear I can see heaven. It feels so good. I'm nearly there and I look down, seeing that she's looking me straight in the eye. That's what pushes me over the edge, and I go with a loud scream of her name.

I always imagined what it would be like to have sex…no, to make love with Catherine. But this was far beyond my wildest dreams.

And not just the love making part.

It's also the part where we are now, she's resting in my arms, and she's so cute right now. Her hair's a bit damp, and it's resting on my shoulder, arm draped over my stomach, and our legs tangled. How I'd love to do this more often. Oh, she's waking up….

'Hey sleeping beauty'

Open up your heart to me,  
And say what's on your mind.  
I know that we have been  
Through so much pain,  
But I still need you in my life this time, and...I need you tonight.  
I need you right now.  
And I know, deep within my heart,  
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right.  
'Cause I see heaven in your eyes.

I figured out what to say to you  
But sometimes the words come out so wrong  
And I know in time that you will understand  
That what we have is so right this time, and...

I need you tonight.  
I need you right now.  
And I know, deep within my heart,  
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right.

All those endless nights  
When we tried to make it last forever more  
And baby I know I need you.  
I know deep within my heart,  
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right.  
Cause I see heaven...

I need you tonight.  
I need you right now.  
And I know, deep within my heart,  
It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right.  
'Cause I see heaven in your eyes.

A/N: that's it guys, was it very bad? Let me know, I need reviews even more than coffee!


	5. Toothpaste and Troubles

**A/N: Here's the final chapter. I must say that, even though I haven't updated in a while, I was wondering where to take this story. It took me a long time to take this somewhere, but when found out where to go, it was quite easily written. **

**CSI isn't mine, never will be and I'll always cry over that….Nah, maybe not cry, but I do not own the characters. **

**MBInc, thank you. **

_**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

_**Sara Sidle.**_

_**The enigma that only few have managed to see. Few have travelled to her heart, and even less completed that journey. Though she has this air around her, I can't say that she's the tough one. People expect her to be the one who cries at night over ghostly demons, or the one who places lonely flowers at one's grave. She isn't like that, and she has even less demons. **_

**_No, it's me who cries in the night, it's me who allows Lindsey to visit Eddie's grave and still considers her our baby girl. When I am the one to let down my guards, it's Sara who holds me, who lets me talk, and most of all, who loves me in her own way. _**

_**Maybe she has problems, but that air she has, of power and closing herself off, that's who she is. She has so much in her that she doesn't let out. And it's more than frozen memories of her dead father and her mother in jail. There are happy memories and laughter inside of her. **_

**_What she holds in is for a large part joy and love. The love for her work, for her colleagues and for science. Beneath that professional layer lies a woman who lives for all that it's worth. And, even though she doesn't go out that much, has a lot of loving friends –and not just in this country. _**

_**She gives all day, mostly without expecting anything back, and that's what makes her so special. She's more than everyone sees: they just see a battered workaholic who is shy, rude and a know-it-all with an obsession with Grissom.**_

**_But I see so much more than that, and the few people who see the same can't do anything but love her completely. Greg sees her too, and I think that It is mainly because they are very much alike. They both have the greatest hearts and minds I've ever seen. Both enjoy life as it comes at them, good or bad. _**

_Catherine Willows. _

_To me she's all that a woman or man needs. She's smart and has a good sense of humour, always important. She has a cute and funny daughter. But what makes me love her so much is something I can't really describe. _

_It's how open her eyes are, when they look at me. It's her laughter when she listens to Lindsey. It's her smile when she leans in for a kiss. It's her lips, soft as a rose and when they curl into a soft smile they make me melt. It's her hair that shines like gold when the sun lights it. It's her body that I know now so well. It's her imperfections that I love so much. _

_I love her when she cries at night, when I hold her and try to help her a bit. I love her for letting Lindsey visit Eddie's grave. I love her for loving me. I love her for her silly moments sometimes. I love her because I feel like we are one when we make love. I love her, because when I touch her she looks me in the eyes before letting go, leaving her emotions bare for me to see. _

_It is she who sees what's under my surface._

_I think that only Greg knows me as well as she does. Our friendship was based upon that. He could see me the way I was the second I walked through the doors of his lab, and it was he who didn't tell a soul about that. _

_I love Catherine for her trust, for letting me be who I am and letting me do my things in my own way. _

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Catherine's POV xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I guess I could say that the first time we made love was the moment everything changed. That the sky turned blue and the birds started singing. But that would be a lie. Of course fairytales never stop when the prince and princess kiss for the first time.

If I learnt anything in life, that's about it. You can't expect life to be perfect within seconds after meeting your soulmate. I know now that Sara and I are in a way meant to be, though it was a bumpy road to get there.

It took us a full 5 months before we confessed our feelings for each other.

After Sara woke me up that day after making love, something had changed. I think that, when we looked in each others eyes that night, we saw what we really felt and that scared us.

Loving wasn't unfamiliar for me, but to love someone so complete and so soon, it scared the hell out of me. It took years to love Eddie, and even more to forget him. Sara isn't an untouched flower herself, so I think that we didn't mean to develop our feelings this fast. So we stayed away from one another and tried to be as civil as possible without having physical contact.

I think that if it weren't for that little kitten of her, that it had taken much more time for us to get together, if we'd even gotten to that point. That cat of hers is something special, you know. Lindsey absolutely loves her, and I swear that that love is being returned. When I walk in the beast doesn't even mew, but when Lindsey comes in that cat is all over her. When they're in the same room you can hear the purring within a 40 mile radius, I'd bet my pay check on that!

But that's also where all the trouble started. Things got worse as both me and Sara started to notice certain people, even despite our feelings for the other. We're both grown up women and we couldn't deny what our bodies told us, and one thing led to another. In the end it turned out that we both had sex during the time we spent apart.

I don't regret it, I was really in the need for something, so going to a club wasn't that big of a deal. It didn't come when I met that other in a hotel room, not nervous or scared. When that woman got rid of my clothes, and when I shed hers. Not when I let my hand roam over the dark skin and the tattoo that was inked on her inner thighs. Not just yet when I kissed and explored every inch of her body, a body that was foreign, like a new landscape that needed to be discovered.

And when she caressed my body, let her fingers run through my hair, looked at me with those unique green eyes I still didn't regret. When her kisses ran lower and lower, towards a place Sara had been the last to go to, I didn't regret. When I begged her for more, screaming Sara's name, I did not regret. It never came when I settled down next to her, on a bed in a hotel room.

I had no regret when I left her there, retrieving several items of clothing all over the room. I never felt sorry for using a woman because I couldn't find a way to communicate with the one I loved. But when I took a last look at the lady without a name, I realised that I never, ever, wanted Sara to be like that. I didn't want her to be the woman that was left by the one night stand, nor did I want her to be the woman to get away as soon as she could.

Because I then realised that she's the only one I need.

That's why I didn't have regrets. Because sleeping with that anonymous woman made me think straight again. But that didn't mean it was all over then. Whilst I was clearing my head, Sara wasn't shy either. Later she told me that she'd slept with someone as well. Though it wasn't really cheating on one another, we both felt like it, and I guess that's what made our relationship in the end.

And this certainly didn't mean that we got back together.

It was that little cat of hers that got us in the same house again. When I confessed to Sara that I'd slept with another woman, she first was sad, but immediately admitted that she'd done the same thing. Since we were unsure of how to continue this together, she went to stay in a hotel and she would bring her Cath along. Well, that caused the problem. I couldn't let Lindsey go to a hotel everyday just to see a kitten, and neither could Sara leave her over at my place since she really loved her cat.

Somehow Lindsey convinced Sara to stay, I still don't know how, and she practically forced us to sleep together since my spare bedroom was full of old stuff that both me and Lindsey didn't want to throw away.

The first nights were horrible. We loved each other and yet we couldn't touch each other. The tension became unbearable. It's like being in the same room with someone you die to touch, but being separated by a wall of glass.

You can look but you can't touch.

Sometimes we just used to stare at each other, searching for whatever was left. Little did I know that all the time it was right in front of me. When something is too obvious we won't see it and neither did I. Even though Sara wasn't the fragile person I thought she was, she did not want to get hurt. I loved her, but at the same time we couldn't get over that borderline of fear. I didn't want to get hurt either and so neither of us was able to make the first move.

But whilst her cat had gotten us in the same house again, we were still bounded by our love for each other, and exactly those bounds made us shy away from each other everytime we got close to a serious conversation, a conversation that we both dreaded to have.

But as most things you dread, they will come when you least expect them.

It came a sudden morning, when we were both in a rush for work. It happened when we were running from the bedroom to the bathroom and from the bathroom to the bedroom. One of those mornings that you have to do everything fast, even brushing your teeth. So did we, and we caught each other when we were brushing our teeth, toothpaste all over our mouths, hairs tousled and half dressed.

I suddenly saw Sara again. I saw her brown eyes that looked at me with what I longed to see so much. I could see her bare emotions again like I did when we made love for the first time. It's the missing piece I saw whenever I would watch her sleeping.

Seeing her with toothpaste around her mouth and her hair curly, I had had it. I had to make a choice: it was either having this with her every morning, or having it never again. It was the weirdest kiss of my life, but lunging at her for that toothpaste kiss is something I'll never forget.

It wasn't the best kiss ever, but to feel her respond and circle her arms around my waist certainly made it the best moment ever…….

After that we carefully got back together. After Sara's shock of my kiss we finally sat down and had our talk, which resulted into the fact that we both couldn't place our feelings.

It took us 5 months to get together, but even longer say 'I love you'. Sara doesn't say that very often, I think she's been afraid of our relationship, whether we would make it or break it.

But now she's not scared anymore and the times that she tells me she loves me, I cherish even more. I guess you can say that Cath got us back in the same house, but that toothpaste morning got us back together.

**The end…**

**If you want, review. If you don't, review.**

**Thanks for reading. **


End file.
